Hard Times

I haven't been able to update everyone in a long time now. It has been a crazy couple of weeks.
First my older daughter fell off her bed hit her wooden doll cradle. That incident left a two inch gash which led to a trip to the emergency room and seven stitches. This same night we she and I were diagnosed with bronchitis. Five days later we took her to have her stitches removed. That afternoon she fell and reopened the cut. That led to another emergency room visit. It was a very bad experience this time. We waited two and half hours just to have them throw steri-strips and betadine on the cut. Of course that did not come close to helping it. The cut really needed to be stitched again or at least some glue put on it. By the time we got her home the strips were falling off and and had been bled through. My husband went to the pharmacy and asked them what we should put on it. So my husband and I bandaged her ourselves which looked much better than what the hospital had done.
Tonight my husband and I are sitting in the hospital with our five week old daughter. She has RSV and was hospitalized on Thursday. We caught it early so we're hoping to go home tomorrow. There has been many people praying for our little girl's recovery. It has already been a long tiring experience for everyone in my family. We can only hope the end is in sight.
I've learned something from this experience. Whenever someone else is going through something like this, we always tell them we're praying for them or we can't imagine what they're going through. Well, that last statement is so very true. Never in my life has anything been so hard. Now in this last couple weeks seeing both my girls in so much pain and discomfort has been emotionally draining. Especially this hospital stay. My baby girl looks so pitiful laying there trying to sleep and struggling through her many coughing fits. I just never thought that I would be here.
I've always been able to take whatever happened to me. It didn't matter so long as my family was healthy. I know this is a test of faith, but I can't say I'm handling it very well. Up to now I've been able to take care of all my girls needs, Now I'm having to take them elsewhere and let other people do what I consider to be my job and noone elses. It's leaving me frustrated and pretty upset. Now I can truely understand what other moms must feel when their little ones are in the hospital. I know many are much worse off than mine, but to me this is very bad at the moment.
There's no time to stop and really think about it all which I think is a good thing. When this is over I should be able to look back with a clear head and see how fortunate we were and see how I failed in so many areas. Times like these show me how weak I really am. The last few weeks has been some of the most trying times for me. My older daughter is suffering as she doesn't know where "Baby" and "Momma" are. We're all suffering from lack of sleep, and my youngest is fighting just to breathe.
I can only pray that this will pass soon!